Surviving the Holidays with DBT Skills: Your Seasonal Stress Toolkit
The holiday season is often portrayed as joyful and heartwarming—but for many people, it brings holiday stress, family conflict, emotional overwhelm, anxiety, depression, and burnout. If this time of year feels heavy, you’re not alone.
As a DBT therapist, I often see clients struggle with intensified emotions and complex family dynamics between November and January. The good news is that Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers practical, evidence-based skills to help you regulate emotions, communicate clearly, and stay grounded through the most difficult parts of the holidays.
This guide will walk you through how to use DBT skills for holiday stress, DBT coping skills, and mindfulness techniques to support your mental health this season.
Why the Holidays Can Feel So Overwhelming
Many people experience increased emotional vulnerability during the holidays. Common triggers include:
Family conflict or unhealthy dynamics
Grief and loss during the holidays
Financial stress and gift-giving pressure
Changes in routine affecting mood regulation
Social exhaustion or loneliness
Expectations to “be happy” despite struggling
These stressors can intensify symptoms of BPD, anxiety, depression, trauma responses, and emotion dysregulation, making DBT skills especially useful this time of year.
1. Mindfulness: Stay Grounded in the Present Moment
Mindfulness is one of the core DBT skills and is especially helpful when emotions or holiday expectations feel overwhelming.
Try using:
DBT “What” skills (Observe, Describe, Participate)
Five-senses grounding for anxiety
Mindful breathing before responding
Nonjudgmental awareness during family interactions
Mindfulness interrupts emotional spirals and helps you respond instead of react.
2. Distress Tolerance: Survive Intense Holiday Moments
When emotions peak—whether due to conflict, overstimulation, or grief—DBT Distress Tolerance skills offer immediate relief.
Use:
TIPP skills to reduce emotional intensity
ACCEPTS for mindful distraction
Self-soothing using sensory grounding
Radical Acceptance for situations you cannot change
Pros and Cons when deciding whether to stay or leave a stressful situation
These DBT skills prevent impulsive decisions and help you get through difficult moments without making things worse.
3. Emotion Regulation: Reduce Vulnerability to Holiday Stress
The holidays often disrupt routines that support emotional stability. DBT Emotion Regulation skills help you rebuild a sense of emotional balance.
Try:
PLEASE skills to manage physical factors that intensify emotions
Opposite Action for emotions like fear, shame, or loneliness
Building positive experiences (small or large) throughout the season
Checking the facts when emotions feel disproportionate or overwhelming
Emotion Regulation increases resilience and makes it easier to handle seasonal stressors.
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Boundaries & Communication During the Holidays
Family gatherings often bring up old patterns and tension. DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness skills help you communicate clearly while protecting your emotional well-being.
Use:
DEAR MAN to ask for what you need or set limits
GIVE to maintain healthy relationships
FAST to protect your self-respect and values
Boundary-setting scripts for difficult relatives
Saying no without guilt when you are overwhelmed or overcommitted
Healthy boundaries are DBT in action—and they’re essential during the holiday season.
A DBT-Informed Holiday Plan
Here are some questions to help you create a DBT coping plan for holiday stress:
What are my emotion triggers this time of year?
What DBT skills help me calm down or feel grounded?
What boundaries do I need to set with family or work?
Who can I reach out to for social support?
How can I practice self-compassion during moments of guilt, grief, or overwhelm?
What routines help me reduce vulnerability (PLEASE skills)?
A plan helps you respond intentionally rather than emotionally.
If the holidays feel stressful, overwhelming, or emotionally exhausting, it makes sense. Many people struggle this time of year—especially those dealing with emotion dysregulation, BPD, trauma, ADHD, anxiety, or depression.
DBT offers a compassionate, evidence-based roadmap for navigating these challenges. With skills like mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness, you can create a holiday season that feels calmer, more grounded, and aligned with your values.
If you’re interested in DBT therapy, DBT skills groups, or working with a Linehan Board Certified DBT therapist in Pennsylvania, support is available.
